Performant SQL
| July 1st, 2011This query performs amazingly on a table with 8 million rows:
SELECT `id`, `account`, `post` FROM `subscribers` WHERE MD5( CONCAT( account, post, email ) ) = '8ada1291a95d8919ba80f2d00167b86f' LIMIT 1;
Archive for the FAIL Category
Perfectly readable
| November 23rd, 2009I have reformatted this single line of unspaced code to make it more readable…
$commentText = preg_replace("/\n/", "", stripExcessLineBreaks(
str_replace(
" ", "", str_replace(
"&","&",str_replace(
"u0026#39;","'", str_replace(
"'", "'", str_replace(
"u0026amp;", "&", str_replace(
"u0026quot;", """, nl2br(
htmlspecialchars(
htmlspecialchars_decode(
stripHTML(
stripReplyText(
$message['body'], true
)
)
),
ENT_NOQUOTES
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
)
);
Redundancy? I got yer redundancy right here!
| November 19th, 2009Remove slashes, add slashes, add slashes, remove slashes… what was I doing again? I don’t remember, oh well, add more slashes, remove some slashes, keep adding slashes.
$text = addslashes( addslashes( stripslashes( preg_replace("/\n|\r/", "", $text) ) ) );
Maintainability FAIL
| May 4th, 2009I dare you to read this without crossing your eyes:
$commentText = preg_replace("/\n/", "", stripExcessLineBreaks(str_replace(" ", "", str_replace("&","&",str_replace("u0026#39;","'", str_replace("'", "'", str_replace("u0026amp;", "&", str_replace("u0026quot;", """, nl2br(htmlspecialchars(htmlspecialchars_decode(stripHTML(stripReplyText($message['body'], true))),ENT_NOQUOTES))))))))));
ICANHAZLINEBREAKZ?
Hand-Crafted Serialization FTW!
| March 1st, 2009Not that it surprises me that much, but there are some truly bizarre chunks of code in WordPressMU. Check out this hot piece of love:
$wpdb->query( "UPDATE $wpdb->usermeta SET meta_value = 'a:1:{s:" . strlen( $role ) . ":\"" . $role . "\";b:1;}' WHERE user_id = '$userid' AND meta_key = '" . $wpdb->base_prefix . $id . "_capabilities'" );
Yeah that’s right, a manually constructed string, representing a serialized array. WTF?
Even the best fall down
| January 8th, 2009I just wrote "if (!$retval) {". In C code. :facepalm:
From Andrei Zmievski via Twitter.
Andrei is a leader in the PHP community, spearheading PHP development and bringing us closer to PHP6.
Just goes to show that developers are human too. (Sorta.)
…and one more thing
| January 8th, 2009Screwed by the Goog!
I hate you, Bill Gates
| January 7th, 2009Found on http://www.americanbaby.com/404.html (You need to disable javascript before loading to see it.)
<body onLoad="redirect()"> <!-- this is a comment the whole thing please disregard this unless you're Bill GAtes and in which case this is all your fault --> </html>
Ugh. Gotta love Microsoft’s inability to adhere to standards.
Also, see this: Open Letter to IE6 for 2009
return true, or… return true
| January 5th, 2009This method is supposed to determine if a post is a draft or not. I’ll let it speak for itself.
public function __get_draft() {
if ($this->visible == 0 && $this->archived == 0 && $this->deleted = 0) {
return true;
} else {
return true;
}
}
worlds most unnecessary loop
| December 29th, 2008Found this bit in a model class of my own.
static public function active_product($product_type, $role_id) {
$q = 'SELECT COUNT(*)
FROM product
WHERE
visible = 1 AND
(deleted = 0 OR archived = 0) AND
postedby_role_id = ? AND
product_type = ?';
$sth = $dbh->prepare($q);
$sth->execute($role_id, $product_type);
$product_count = 0;
while(list($count) = $sth->fetchrow_array()) {
$product_count += $count;
}
return $product_count;
}
WTF was I smoking?